is there a right time in your life to get married? the ideal age? how many years should you go out with your bf/gf before you pop the question? before moving on to the next stage. how many years do you think you need to know each other before saying, i know she/he is the one!
I've asked a few friends and some of them said 2 years paktor before he proposed, and 1 year planning, so 3 years in total before they are husband and wife, shortest 1 month after he met her, he pop the question, love at first sight it seems. some 6 months paktor then they got married, some they paktor for many years and they never thought about marriage till the day she finds a positive result on her pregnancy test.
Merv and I however, 6 years paktor before he asked me to marry him. I ask mervin, do you know you wanna marry me during our 2nd year courtship. (he answers, no) Well, I never thought about marriage at that time either! Honestly, I've always thought i'll get married approximately at the age of 30!
Last time, when people tell me they were planning to get married, i ask, how do you know she's the one, or are you sure, only 2 years together, or 1 1/2 years together??? serious?? haha.. and all of them answered the same thing.. 'i just know it' and 'we've been through enough to know what we want in life and i've found the person'
Wah like some lines they stole from a romantic movie.
Anyway, i've always been really sceptical about marriage, like there's so many broken marriages out there. So there's no such thing as happily ever after? We see our parents get on each other's nerve, they nag, they yell, they get so annoyed at each other. and We wonder, are we going to be like that in 30 years time? It's just so sad. Why get married then? Just to have kids, so they can tell you 'i hate you'?
I believe, our parents generation didn't paktor enough. :)
They were forced into marriage? Ok, forced maybe too strong word. But maybe their parents were like, who is this boy? You smile at him ah? Is he going to propose to you? Ask his parents come see me, and we table talk?! haha..
then, they get married, and then 9 months later, here comes the baby, and the next baby and the next baby.. and the folks work... they work and they work.. to support the family and the kids, and their kids education and everything else that needs to be paid.. the folks just concentrated on the money and to provide for the children.
Then one day, the children all gets married and leave the nest, and thats when, THE PARENTS get to know one another! and they will say.. IF I KNOW YOU ARE LIKE THAT bla bla.... etc etc.. I will not marry you... and some folks can't stand each other, sleep separate room/ stay separate house/ maybe, just maybe they get a divorce. (just observe, just take a moment to really 'notice' your parents, ponder on what you see. if you see love, you're so lucky. But I've seen many parents and i see the distant, noticed the petty fights etc. This little exercise is to prove my theory or rather learning experience right!)
So sad right? And you may ask me, then why are you getting married? Because ... i'm in love? head over heels? ... Because... i'm ready for the next stage, i'm ready to face the challenges of a happy marriage life. It needs lotsa effort, not from one side, but both husband and wife. We need to encourage, compliment, support, laugh, cry, (the list goes on) .... together-gether..
Merv thinks the key to a happily ever after marriage, is to make each other laugh. Because as all would say, laughter is the best medicine.
I think he is SO, right. :)
this is how i make us laugh (being silly)
yknow, one bottle can pour exactly one full glass..
